Against All Odds
by SiriuslyFour'sGirl
Summary: Slightly AU Malec, set at the beginning of CoHF after Magnus visits Alec at the Institute. Will they resolve their problems and find a way back to each other? No Sebastian, no war, just Malec. Rated M for the usual reasons, language and sex/sexual references.
1. Chapter 1

**This story is set after Magnus visits Alec at the Institute in CoHF. He kisses Alec, then tells him it was a mistake kissing him and coming to see him. He backs away from Alec, leaving him alone again. For the purpose of this story, there is no psychopathic murder on the loose, it's just Magnus and Alec trying to figure out where to go from here. **

* * *

Alec was walking the streets of New York City with his head tucked into his coat to block the chill December wind. He was lost inside his head, as he had been for nearly two months. When Magnus had first broken up with him in that disused subway tunnel, he had kissed Alec and told him that he loved him, giving Alec hope that their relationship could be saved and leading Alec to call and text him relentlessly.

That hope was gone. Gone with the words '_It was a mistake_' chasing themselves through Alec's mind eternally. When he last saw Magnus, standing outside the Institute, and Magnus said that he forgave Alec and then kissed him again, that hope had been rekindled. But the hope had shattered into a million tiny pieces as Magnus backed away from him, shaking his head, and saying those four words. _It was a mistake._

Alec spent all of his free time walking these days, trying to escape the pain. He found no comfort at the Institute, for there his family, especially Jace and Izzy, always wanted to talk about how Alec was feeling and how he was doing. How the fuck did they think he was doing? He'd lost Magnus, and he hurt, and it wasn't getting any better.

Alec saw those green-gold cat eyes everywhere he looked, even in his sleep. He felt Magnus's fingertips brushing his cheeks, his soft lips kissing him, his hands finding all the sensitive places on Alec's body. Sometimes he could even feel Magnus hands firmly gripping his hips in pleasure and desire as he moved within Alec. He longed so much to _actually_ feel these things. He longed so much for Magnus that he felt his heart would bleed from the pain and emptiness.

The sky overhead was gray, perfectly matching Alec's mood. He had no destination as he meandered through the city. He just needed to be alone with his depressing thoughts and try to figure out some way to get through it.

The sky opened up and deposited tiny white flakes of snow on every available surface. Alec quickly decided it was best for him to catch a cab and maybe find some place warm to hide out for a while.

He tossed a hand into the air and, in true Magnus fashion, hailed a cab immediately. He climbed into the back and gave the driver an address, some 20 blocks away, to a small café where he could warm up with a coffee and attempt to read a book or magazine. They rode in silence for several blocks, Alec ignoring the soft music playing on the cab's radio, and still thinking of Magnus, of his last words to Alec. _It was a mistake. It was a mistake. It was a mistake. _

Alec didn't think it was a mistake, not the relationship and most certainly not the kiss. Alec didn't think it was a mistake for Magnus to show up at the Institute, for he had wanted so many times to show up unannounced at Magnus's loft. He didn't think it was a mistake for Magnus to forgive him. The only mistake he saw was their relationship ending. That was the mistake. Why couldn't Magnus see that?

He had long since given up trying to contact Magnus or sending his friends over to try to convince Magnus to take him back. What was the point in contacting him when he thought kissing Alec was a mistake? What could he possibly say that would change the warlock's mind?

He dimly registered the buildings passing by, and the light dusting of snow on the sidewalks. He saw Magnus's face reflecting back at him in the window of the cab, though it was impossible. He saw Magnus' face everywhere these days, and each time it was like a new wound, or an old one opening up and bleeding freely.

The driver was humming along to the song on the radio. Somehow, the words of the song reached Alec in this awful place inside his head.

_"How can I just let you walk away_  
_Just let you leave without a trace_  
_When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh-ooh_  
_You're the only one who really knew me at all_

_How can you just walk away from me_  
_When all I can do is watch you leave_  
_'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain_  
_And even shared the tears_  
_You're the only one who really knew me at all"_

"Pull over! Stop the car!" Alec said to the cabbie. "You have to let me out!"

The driver looked up in alarm. "But we haven't reached your destination," he said, uncomprehendingly.

"JUST STOP THE GODDAMNED CAR!" he shouted. He hated being rude but he had to get away from that song. It was boring into him like thousands of hot, painful needles. He had to get away.

The driver pulled the car over and Alec threw a handful of bills at him, not knowing or caring how much money he had just spent. He launched himself onto the sidewalk and stumbled toward an alley. He leaned against the cold brick wall, trying to catch his breath and regain his composure.

Magnus's face was staring at him in his mind, concern written all over it. But he knew that wasn't the case. Magnus had no reason to be concerned about him. _It was a mistake._

He collected himself and started down the sidewalk, trying to get his bearings. He wasn't sure where the cab had deposited him, he had not been paying attention to that, after all.

Eventually, he recognized a coffee house and ducked inside out of the cold winter chill. He vaguely registered the fact that he _knew_ this place, somewhere that wasn't in his own neighborhood. The only reason for him to know it was that he had visited the store with Magnus, which meant Magnus could, potentially, show up here any time.

He stood in line behind several people, happy couples merrily chatting, a young man wearing a NYU sweatshirt, a girl with hot-pink hair. When his turn came, he placed his order for plain black coffee, paid the cashier and waited. A song filtered to him from high in the ceiling rafters, this one hammering into him as badly as the one in the cab.

"_What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do"_

Alec froze, his heart beating rapidly from the area of his throat, blood pounding in his ears. The universe seemed to be trying to break him today. And again, all he could see was Magnus's face, his beautiful eyes shining back at him.

Fortunately, at that moment the clerk handed him his coffee, which he ripped from her hand and darted toward the door. He slid on the pavement, the snow was beginning to accumulate, and turned on his heel heading east, and ran headlong into a tall, very familiar, figure.

Alec's eyes traveled upward, taking in the familiar long, heavy, black leather trench coat, the black pants and black leather boots. His pulse raced at the familiarity in the outline of the man's shape, and the scent of sandalwood and burnt-sugar that he was achingly accustomed to, and missed so fiercely. When his eyes finally met Magnus's, his heart seemed to stop, a wave of cold rushing over him, freezing him in place.

He had never seen Magnus look like this in public. His hair disheveled, wearing all black, devoid of make-up or glitter. His heart broke a little more at the sight of Magnus this way.

_It was a mistake_.

"Alec?" Magnus said, unable to hide the shock on his face at literally running into his ex-boyfriend.

Alec stared at Magnus, opening and closing his mouth, unable to form a thought or a sentence. He had seen Magnus's face so many times recently when Magnus wasn't even there that a small part of him wondered if this was just another hallucination. But he knew that wasn't true. Magnus was standing there in front of him for the first time in nearly three weeks, and Alec was astonished into silence.

"Alec?" Magnus repeated. "Are you alright?" And there was that look of concern Alec was sure he would never see again. What gave Magnus the right to look at him that way? Of course he wasn't alright. He was anything but alright.

_It was a mistake_.

Alec shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. Abruptly, he said, "It wasn't a mistake, Magnus."

He pushed past Magnus, bumping into his shoulder as he went, and took off, racing down the slippery sidewalk, needing to put distance between himself and the warlock. Magnus stood in the middle of the sidewalk, staring after him, wondering what had just happened, and feeling the loss of Alec all over again. He suddenly wasn't in the mood for coffee anymore.

* * *

**A/N: Song #1 is "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins and song #2 is "What Hurts the Most" by Rascal Flatts.**


	2. Chapter 2

Alec lay concealed beneath a tree in Central Park. The weather was warm for early February and he had snuck away from the Institute hours before to be alone. He was still doing poorly regarding his break-up with Magnus, but he was getting a little better. He no longer sought solitude exclusively like he had when he first realize his relationship with Magnus was really over, so that was something.

He still saw Magnus's face all the time. He was still in love with Magnus, and his body still craved Magnus's touch. He was also still trying to avoid Magnus, which had turned out much harder than he thought it would be.

After the incident at the coffee shop, he had seen Magnus several times. Each time felt like a punch in the gut, like a great cosmic hand had knocked the wind out of him.

One such time, Alec had been stupid and wandered to Magnus's apartment building. He stood across the street from the building, staring at it, not even sure if he was really seeing it. He had stood there for hours, not knowing what he hoped to gain. Was he waiting for Magnus to enter or leave the building, hoping for a glimpse of the warlock? Did he just want to be near the building, and by extension, Magnus? Was he hoping Magnus would see him and…what? Talk to him? Chase him off?

Finally, Magnus had looked out the window of his loft, directly at Alec. His face had held surprise at seeing his ex-boyfriend observing his home like a creepy stalker, but when their eyes met, Magnus's expression softened. With a flutter of the curtains, Magnus had disappeared, and, an instant later, so had Alec. He had darted up the street and out of sight, before Magnus could reach the bottom of his staircase and exit his apartment building. Alec didn't know, of course, that Magnus had searched in every direction for a trace of Alec, and had been tempted to perform a tracking spell, before reason caught up with him. If Alec had wanted to talk to him, he wouldn't have ran.

A week later, Alec had been at the Hunter's Moon, giving Luke a message for Maryse. When he left the bar, he had gotten caught in the rain with no cabs in sight. His hair hung limply as rivulets of cold water streamed off the ends. Somehow, inexplicably, Magnus had been there. Alec had been shocked to see Magnus, and even more so when Magnus had made a Portal to his apartment for them. He had accepted, only because he was soaking wet and freezing. Magnus had given him a towel and some dry clothes, and he had gratefully changed with shaking hands. He hadn't been in Magnus's apartment since their break-up, months before. Being there, and not being with Magnus, hurt more than he thought it would.

When he had emerged from the bathroom, warm and dry and comfortable, he had not known what to say to Magnus. The warlock was sitting on his couch, looking just as anxious as Alec felt.

Alec cleared his throat and said, "Thank you." Magnus nodded and waved a dismissive hand, a gesture so achingly familiar it actually caused Alec physical pain. "I suppose I should go," he added hesitantly.

Magnus looked up at that, an unreadable expression on his face. He rose from the couch and looked as if a war was being waged within him. His face was pained, and he didn't speak. In the end, he created another Portal and sent Alec home to the Institute. When Alec was gone, Magnus dropped onto the couch, fighting for breath. He had wanted so badly to kiss Alec, and do a whole lot more than that to the Nephilim.

Now, Alec lay on his back, the watery sun streaming through the trees of his haven in Central Park. He was glamoured and invisible from mundanes, which was a blessing. His mind kept returning to Magnus, to the times they had seen each other recently, but more often than not, to the times when they had actually been together.

He saw Magnus looking with incredulous eyes as he had called Alec a stupid Nephilim and told him, for the first time, that he loved him.

He remembered their first kiss, how his knees had weakened, and he had finally realized what was so fascinating about kissing.

He remembered Paris, and his first time. It had hurt at first, but Magnus had been so patient, so gentle, and it had not taken long before Alec was a blithering, panting mess. Magnus had been amazing, taking his time with Alec, making him feel comfortable, making him feel _good_. When he'd had his first orgasm, that wasn't self-induced, it had been an indescribable feeling. Magnus's name had fallen from his lips over and over again. To this day, he wasn't sure how Magnus had so much self-restraint that night.

And then they were in that damn subway tunnel. Magnus kissed him, and the witchlight rune stone had flared up brilliantly. He had hoped he and Magnus still had a chance to be together. He had hoped so much. But Magnus had walked away.

Alec realize the weak sunlight was not the only cause for his blurred vision. Tears were pooling in his eyes, and he blinked to flush them away. When he reopened his eyes, he saw Magnus's face, as usual, taking shape before him.

"Kiss me," he whispered, and he felt Magnus's fingers brush his tears away before he leaned in to do just that. The kiss was soft and gentle and Alec parted his lips to breathe in Magnus. Magnus's touch, his kiss, felt so real this time. _Too real._

Alec jerked away with a start, his eyes widening as he realized that Magnus was there, he was really there, in the flesh, not just his imagination this time. In his surprise, Alec struggled to get away from Magnus.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Alec spluttered.

"Kissing you. Like you asked me to," Magnus replied as if stating the obvious.

Alec was confused, so confused. He shook his head to try to clear his thoughts. "I thought I was dreaming," he said in a small voice, averting his eyes from Magnus's.

Magnus let out a soft laugh. "You were awake, Alec."

"Daydreaming," Alec clarified. Then, finally meeting Magnus's gaze again, he said, "Why did you do that? What are you even doing here?"

"I saw you laying here and came over. I thought maybe we could talk. But then you looked at me and said 'kiss me' and, I don't know, I just did," Magnus said. He looked conflicted, and Alec suddenly feared he would hear those damn words again. _It was a mistake._

Alec pushed Magnus away before Magnus had a chance to break his heart even further. He leapt to his feet with the skillful grace of a Shadowhunter and said, "Stop messing with my head, Magnus." Then he turned on his heel and sprinted away before Magnus had a chance to reply. Magnus's eyes followed him until he was out of sight, then he dropped his head into his hands, a jumble of emotions coursing through him.


	3. Chapter 3

Magnus leaned back on his couch, lost in thought. It had been nearly two months since he had seen Alec that day in the park. He had tried calling the Shadowhunter several times, but Alec sent him to voicemail and never called him back. He supposed he deserved that after all the times he had done the same thing to Alec following their break-up, but he found he hated it still.

He missed Alec with every fiber of his being. His body craved Alec, every nerve tingling with the memory of Alec's hands on him. He could feel Alec's lips on his, and Alec's tongue running along the roof of his mouth. Alec had quickly learned what that little motion did to him and had employed it on many occasions, just to watch Magnus lose control. Magnus leaned back deeper into the couch, and, closing his eyes, he saw the piercing blue of Alec's eyes behind his lids.

He imagined he felt Alec's body straddling him, pressing against him. He felt Alec's hands moving across his shoulders to slide along his neck, holding him in place as they kissed. He felt Alec's hips rock, brushing their arousals together and sending a thrill through his body that he so wished was real. Magnus saw, behind his eyelids, the gentle slope of Alec's shoulders, the stony muscles under his skin, and a pair of perfectly white wings rising up behind his back, for in Magnus's fantasies Alec was always an angel. The image of Alec's coal black hair, deep blue eyes, and bare chest combined with angel wings made Magnus come undone.

He ran his hand along the developing bulge in the front of his pants, and let out a wanton moan. Magnus could still recall, in perfect detail, how it felt to be with Alec. And he wanted to feel it again. He wanted Alec more than he'd ever wanted anyone.

There was a sudden, relentless hammering on his door that startled him from his fantasy. "Open the door, Magnus, you bastard! Open the goddamned door or I'll open it myself!" Alec shouted through the hammering.

Magnus sighed, his bulge deflating, wondering what he had done wrong this time. He had wanted to see Alec, but not like this. He flicked a casual finger at the door, which burst open, Alec spilling into the apartment.

Alec recovered his balance and squared his shoulders, looking wildly at Magnus. Without preamble, he shouted, "Get out of my goddamn head, Magnus!"

Magnus eyed him critically. "Are you drunk?" he stated, that being the only conclusion that explained Alec's behavior.

"What? No!" Alec said indignantly. "Well, maybe a little," he relented. "But that's not the point. Why are you still in my head?" he said.

Alec was clearly agitated, and Magnus had no idea why. "What is this all about, Alexander?"

Alec narrowed his eyes at the use of his full name. He gesticulated wildly around the room, as if Magnus had hidden the words he was searching for somewhere in the room and he was desperately trying to find them. Then, rather suddenly, Alec blurted, "I found someone."

Magnus quickly schooled his expression to one of nonchalance, but Alec still caught the flash of emotion in his eyes, the flicker of pain he wasn't fast enough to disguise. "Oh" was all he said, all he trusted himself to say. He hadn't been expecting Alec to say that, or the pain those words would inflict on him.

"I found someone," Alec repeated. "We've been dating for a few weeks. He's sweet and he makes me laugh, and I invited him home tonight."

"To the Institute?" Magnus asked, attempting to sound interested even though he felt like his heart was bleeding. He wondered, fleetingly, how stupid he sounded focusing on _that_ particular aspect of the conversation.

Alec shook his head. "No. I moved out." He fell silent for a few minutes.

"Why are you telling me this, Alec?" Magnus prompted, his voice cracking slightly as he spoke.

Alec snapped to attention, staring hard at Magnus. "Because, you're still in my fucking head! I haven't been…intimate," he broke off, turning his head away to hide his blush. "He was the first person I've been with since…"

Magnus stared at him. He didn't want to hear this, didn't want to know about Alec being with someone else. Anger flared in him at the thought of someone else touching Alec, his Alec. But that wasn't fair, he knew, because he had been the one to end it in the first place and it didn't matter if he was having second thoughts about that now. But he was not going to ask Alec what he was trying to say. He couldn't.

"I said your name," Alec continued, his voice barely audible. That got Magnus's attention. His head snapped up to find that Alec was already looking at him. Magnus didn't know what to say. "I said your name," Alec repeated. "We were…he was…we are just getting to know each other, you know. It felt good to have someone touching me again…"

Magnus swallowed hard. "You said my name…during sex with someone else?"

"No, we weren't having sex, we were just..." Alec broke off, clearly uncomfortable. His body seemed to be all coiled energy, ready to spring, as he paced around the room.

"I guess that didn't go over too well," Magnus said, not really sure how else to respond to Alec's confession. Part of him was happy that Alec hadn't had sex with this new guy, and that Alec still thought about him enough to have this slip occur at such an inopportune moment. But he also hated seeing the pain and frustration and anxiety on Alec's face.

"No, not well at all," Alec admitted, throwing himself into a chair. "He stormed out of my apartment and said 'go fuck yourself' as he slammed the door. Then I threw back a couple of tequila shots." Alec was visibly upset, folding his hands in his lap to prevent them from shaking, and not making eye contact with Magnus. Magnus felt a pang of empathy for his ex-boyfriend, but he couldn't think of anything to say that would help the situation.

"Why am I saying your name, Magnus?" Alec ran both hands through his hair, making it stuck up at odd angles, and Magnus couldn't help but think how adorable he was. "Why can't I get over you?" Alec said, a plea in his voice.

Magnus felt an upsurge of love for Alec, even though he knew he shouldn't. It wouldn't change anything. "Alec, why are you here?" Magnus said, studying the Shadowhunter.

Alec looked up at him. "How did you do it, Magnus? How did you stop loving me so fast?"

Magnus was stunned. Could Alec really think he didn't love him? Of course he could, Magnus reasoned with himself. What had he done to make him think differently? He had ended the relationship, the tumultuous relationship he knew was doomed to fail, before it really had a chance to start. They had fallen in love and have done nothing but hurt each other since. Magnus had avoided his calls and texts, and the few times he had seen him, had somehow managed to remain in control of himself. What else was Alec to think?

Unfortunately, telling Alec the truth, that he was still just as in love with him as he had ever been, that his body still begged for his touch, wasn't possible. How could he tell Alec that when he was still unwilling to pursue their relationship, when he still thought being together was a bad idea?

Instead of telling Alec what he was thinking, he said, "What do you want from me, Alec?"

"I want you to take my memories," Alec said. "I know you can do it. You did it when we raised the demon, Azazel."

"Y-you want me to make you f-forget me?" Magnus said, unable to hide the pain in his voice.

"I don't want to feel this anymore, Magnus. It hurts too much. I can't have you. I need to get on with my life." There was a strain in Alec's voice that tore at Magnus's heart as much as the words themselves.

"Alec-" Magnus began, but Alec cut him off.

"I shouldn't have come here," Alec said abruptly, rising from his chair and turning to go. Before he made it to the door, Magnus was there, grabbing his shoulder and turning him around so they were face to face. Their faces were mere inches apart, and Magnus could feel Alec's hot breath on his skin. It did not help his resolve.

He didn't have a plan when he stopped Alec from leaving, didn't know what he wanted to accomplish. Their eyes met, and in a moment of weakness, Alec threw his arms around Magnus, pulling him close, and captured him in a heated kiss. This kiss was nothing like anything they had shared previously. This kiss was uncontrolled, passionate, and so full despair and longing, and Magnus found himself responding with just as much need.

Magnus felt Alec's hands on him, in his hair, on his shoulders, his back. Alec's hands ran under Magnus's shirt, leaving a fiery trail in their wake. Magnus touched Alec's chest, the perfectly sculpted muscles beneath the skin, and his mind conjured the image from his fantasy.

Magnus parted his lips for air. He couldn't remember ever kissing anyone so passionately. He was starting to feel dizzy and wasn't sure if it was from lack of oxygen, from Alec, or a combination of the two.

Alec took the opportunity to slide his tongue into Magnus's mouth, grazing it along Magnus's tongue, then turning it to slither along the roof of Magnus's mouth. And Magnus lost it.

Magnus could not have said how they ended up in his bedroom, with a trail of clothing lining their path from the door, through the living room and down the hallway. His hands and fingers fell into their old habits, finding the sensitive places on Alec's body with ease. He was lost in the kiss, the touch, the scent of Alec. His body overrode the reasoning his brain gave, the question of what this meant, and the doubt that this was a good idea. At that moment, he didn't care if it was a bad idea. He wanted Alec, plain and simple.

They tumbled onto the bed, neither pausing to second guess this. They both knew deep down that sex would not fix anything, would not repair the broken things in their relationship. Magnus would normally have taken his time with Alec, enjoying the foreplay almost as much as the love making, but he knew that with each passing moment there was a greater chance of Alec coming to his senses and stopping this. And right now, he needed Alec desperately.

They held each other tightly as Magnus gently eased into Alec, and Alec flinched. They had been apart now for longer than they had had a sexual relationship, so this was no surprise. Magnus was careful, making short, slow movements, pausing until Alec gave him encouragement through the greedy touch of his fingers and motions of his hands. He moved with Alec, feeling Alec's pleasure in the frenzy of his kiss, the frantic actions of his body.

He knew this position would not give Alec the full extent of pleasure that he deserved. Almost reluctantly, Magnus heaved himself up, breaking contact with Alec's chest and allowing for a change of angle. Alec instantly rolled his hips up to meet Magnus, allowing Magnus full access to the most sensitive parts of Alec, and an angle that would turn Alec into a blithering mess of pleasure.

Alec moaned, the most wanton sound Magnus had ever heard, and Magnus knew neither of them would last long like this. He felt the familiar sensation in his groin, his release building. With a cry of his lover's name, Alec unraveled and Magnus followed.

Magnus held Alec's body as they shuddered and trembled. When they finally recovered, Magnus sank onto his sheets and drew Alec to him.

And the full extent of what they had just done came crashing down on them. Neither knew what to say or do. Neither knew where to go from here. Magnus wanted so badly to ask Alec to stay with him, to say they could work on their relationship, try to fix their problems. But how? He was immortal and Alec was mortal and their wasn't a way to change that. It had already come between them so many times. He didn't think he could handle a lifetime of pain and arguing over something that couldn't be changed.

He also didn't know if he could handle being without Alec any longer. He loved him, like he had never loved anyone before. But he just didn't know if love was enough. He also didn't know what Alec wanted, and he didn't know if it would be something he could give him.

The odds of a successful relationship were not in their favor.

So, instead of dealing with the situation, he chose to just enjoy Alec's company tonight. He silently held Alec, tracing the runes on his arms and chest and back, until they both fell asleep.

* * *

Magnus woke in the morning to find Alec gone. He had left a note on the bedside table, a torn piece of paper that simply said, "I'm sorry."


	4. Chapter 4

Luke and Jocelyn's wedding was romantic and beautiful, and more than a little eclectic. At least, Magnus thought it was. He couldn't really be sure. He had spent the entirety of the wedding unable to drag his eyes away from a certain blue-eyed Nephilim.

Magnus sat near the back with his 'date', his good friend, Catarina Loss. Alec was several rows ahead of him at an angle, and Magnus's eyes were trained on his black hair and dark suit, the only parts he could really see. Several times Alec glanced in his direction, only to look away when he saw Magnus staring at him.

Magnus had not seen or heard from Alec since Alec had disappeared from his bed more than a month ago. He had debated whether or not he should make an appearance at the wedding. In the end, he decided that he had known Jocelyn and Clary for too many years to not show. But as he watched Alec, he was again wondering if maybe he should reconsider.

They had never really talked about anything since their break-up, had not addressed any of their problems. And the last time they saw each other, they ended up in bed, which certainly didn't seem to have helped matters. He gathered from their one conversation that Alec still had feelings for him, but to what extend he didn't know. He also didn't know what to make of Alec's goodbye note. _I'm sorry_, it had said.

Magnus tried to join the conversations around him, as he sipped his champagne and absently searched the milling crowd for a sign of Alec. He was not successful in either task. He didn't really care about how wonderfully Jace and Clary were getting on, or how Simon and Isabelle were doing. On some level he was happy for them, but right now, his mind was not detouring from Alec.

After an hour of searching, Magnus was forced to conclude that Alec must have already left the farm. He had hoped for a chance to talk to Alec, to make sure he was alright after what had happened between them, but it didn't look like that was a possibility now. Magnus wondered if Catarina would be angry with him if he ditched out early. The wedding reception held no particular interest for him anyway.

Magnus noticed that the vampires had cleared out of the farmhouse once night had fallen. He could not remember when that had happened, he just knew that there were suddenly dozens of vampires extending the size of the gathering.

Magnus heaved a sigh. _At least now the farmhouse will be empty,_ he thought. He made his way there, just needing a break from all the merry chattering.

The inside of the farmhouse was dim, with the only light coming from the moon overhead and the flickering firelight from the wedding in the distance. Magnus thought, briefly, about turning on a lamp, but decided he would rather sit in the dark so as not to attract attention from any of the party-goers. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts, not having to answer stupid questions about how he was feeling or what he was thinking. He knew that something of his thoughts must be showing on his face, judging by the way Catarina and some of the others had been looking at him.

Magnus made out the outline of a couch and flung himself onto it. "Ow!" said a voice, as he landed on something firm.

Magnus flicked his finger, lighting a lamp in the corner. He turned to discover he had accidentally flung himself onto Alec's leg in the dark. "Jesus!" he said, his hand flying to his chest as his heart attempted to beat uncontrollably through the walls of his ribcage. "You scared the shit out of me!"

Alec looked at him pointedly, and Magnus suddenly realized he was still sitting on Alec's leg. He rolled away, moving as far as he could to the other end of the couch. He could have moved to another couch or chair, and would have if he were smart, but after spending the evening looking for Alec, he couldn't quite bring himself to put more distance between them.

He glanced sidelong at Alec. Alec was staring straight ahead, his legs now drawn up to his chest and his arms encircling them as if holding them in place. Magnus recognized the position. It was a position of defense, as if Alec were trying to protect himself.

"What are you doing in here?" Magnus asked, attempting to break the ice.

"Hiding," Alec replied, looking at Magnus from the corner of his eye. "What about you?"

"I needed a break. There are too many happy people out there," he said with a forced laugh.

Alec nodded his understanding and hugged his knees tighter. Magnus longed to touch Alec, to find some way to comfort him, though he knew he was likely the cause of Alec's concern. He tucked his hands under his thighs as a way to restrain himself from reaching out to Alec.

Alec noted the gesture. "You don't have to do that," he said softly.

"Do what?" said Magnus. He hated how awkward things were between them, when not so long ago they were freely in love.

"Stop yourself from touching me," Alec said, not looking at Magnus. "I mean, you can…if you want to. I don't mind."

Magnus turned sideways on the couch, drawing his leg up under him, and looked at Alec. "Don't you think maybe we should talk first?" he said.

"Sure, let's have the same circular conversation. You don't want to be with me because I'm mortal and will grow old and die. I don't want to be with you because I don't know anything about you, and you won't tell me anything. Does that cover the basics?" Alec said.

"I think you just proved that you do know things about me," Magnus said softly.

"Oh, sure, I know you mannerisms. I can read your actions because I've studied you Magnus, not because you've been open with me. I know your heart and your body, but not your mind."

"Alec…"

"I don't see what difference talking will make, anyway," Alec said. "It hurts to be with you just the same as it hurts to be without you."

"Alec-" Magnus began.

"So, did you bring a date?" Alec interrupted.

Magnus looked surprised at the abrupt change in conversation. "No, I'm here with Catarina. You remember her, right?"

Alec nodded. He seemed closed off. Magnus cast around for something to say, but rejected everything that came to mind. He wanted to say how much he hated being without Alec, how empty his life felt without him, but to what end? Alec was right in his assessment of their problems and Magnus didn't see a way around them.

He opened his mouth to say something casual, but what tumbled from his lips was something entirely different. "Why did you leave?" he said, before he could stop himself.

Alec looked at him like he'd just said something stupid. "Why did I leave your bed, you mean? I thought that would be obvious. I knew if I stayed, we would have to talk and I would once again hear you tell me we had made a mistake." Alec was still clutching his knees as if they were a lifeline. He dropped his head, resting it against his knees, and said in a low voice, "I couldn't hear those words again."

Magnus said nothing, but this time he did reach out to Alec. He pulled Alec to him, encircling his body in his arms, and Alec let his guard down. He let Magnus hold him and comfort him and he wished it was real, wished he could trust it.

Magnus kissed the top of Alec's head, but that wasn't enough for Alec. He pushed himself up level with Magnus, cupped his cheek in one hand, and kissed him. Magnus watched as Alec's eyes fluttered closed, as Alec absorbed into the kiss. Magnus tried to resist, but who was he kidding? He wanted to kiss Alec just as much as Alec seemed to want to kiss him. And he gave in.

Magnus's hand came around to tangle in Alec's hair, holding his head in place. His heart was pounding as he kissed Alec, as his fingers slid around and gentle stroked Alec's cheekbones, as he closed his eyes and let his senses be consumed by Alec.

Alec broke away and looked Magnus in the eye, his blue eyes full of love and desire and need. "Make me feel good, Magnus. I know it's temporary and won't solve anything, but…I just want you to make me feel good. Please," he said in a low, husky voice.

Magnus stared at him, his mind battling his heart. This was different than the last time they were together. Last time was thoughtless, uncontrolled passion. Last time just happened. They could pass it off as a moment of weakness and poor decision-making if they chose to. But this? They had talked about it. Alec was asking him for it. This was premeditated, and brought with it a whole different set of connotations.

"I don't know, Alec," he said, still unconvinced.

"Come on," Alec said, taking his hand and leading him down the hall. They tried a few doors before finding one that showed no signs of habitation. They entered the room and Magnus closed the door behind them with a soft click.

When he turned back to Alec, he was surprised to see the expectant look in his eyes. It wasn't like Alec to ask for sex, especially not meaningless sex. _Perhaps it's not meaningless, _Magnus thought, and he hesitated. What would it mean for them to do this again?

"Alec?" Magnus tried again.

"Just shut up and kiss me, Magnus," Alec replied as he hooked his hand around Magnus's neck and brought their lips together. Magnus's resolve failed. He gave himself to the kiss, tasting Alec, breathing Alec, wanting Alec.

His hands slid up Alec's arms and paused at his shoulders, feeling the heat radiating off the Nephilim's warm body through his thin shirt. His fingers unbuttoned Alec's shirt with painfully slow movements, finally baring his chest. Magnus's hands skimmed Alec's cheeks and down his neck, following along his collarbone to his shoulders. His fingers slid underneath the open edge of the shirt and slowly slid it off his shoulders, barely noticing it float to the floor. Magnus's mouth broke free of Alec's to trailed open-mouthed kisses in the wake of his hands, following the same, leisurely, seductive path.

Magnus heard a moan escape through Alec's parted lips. Alec let his head fall back, exposing his bare neck. Magnus couldn't resist the urge to take advantage of that situation. His lips reversed their previous track, roaming along Alec's collarbone, nipping and kissing the soft flesh. When he got to the crook of Alec's neck and the sensitive skin that resided there, he lightly bit and sucked the skin into his mouth, creating a mark that, at one time, Alec would have complained about. This time, however, Alec reacted to the pleasure by fisting Magnus's shirt and moaning softly.

Magnus smiled against Alec's skin. He still had nagging doubts that this was a good idea, but if they were going to do it, he was glad to have the opportunity to pleasure Alec the way he deserved.

Alec's fingers were more hasty than Magnus's, unbuttoning his shirt with the speed and grace of his Shadowhunter blood. But when the shirt front was open, Alec paused, taking in the beauty of the warlocks caramel skin, the soft lines of his chest, the unblemished abdomen, before sliding the shirt off and discarding it on the floor.

Alec leaned in and kissed Magnus's chest, nibbling and tasting along his collarbone, and leaving his own mark on the warlock. Magnus caught Alec's chin and brought their lips back together in a slow, sensual kiss.

Magnus's fingers danced across Alec's chest, sending sparks of pleasure through Alec's body. They made a fiery trail as they skirted along the stony pectoral muscles, between the rippling edges of his abdominal muscles and finally found the narrow strip of dark hair that led from Alec's navel to somewhere hidden by the waistband of his pants. Magnus broke the kiss as his fingers following that line of soft hair, one of the parts of Alec's beautiful body that made Magnus instantly come undone.

Magnus was panting slightly as his fingers expertly unfastened the buckles of Alec's belt and pants, and slid them down his thighs. Alec sidestepped the pants, letting them fall to the floor in a heap, as his fingers gracefully removed Magnus's pants in turn.

Magnus brought their mouths back together as he leaned Alec back onto the bed. His hands were back on Alec's body, touching all the sensitive places that made Alec tremble. Their kiss became more heated, and more sloppy, as Magnus dipped his fingers below the waistband of Alec's boxers and removed them with a gentle flick of his wrist. Alec's hands were unsteady as he found Magnus's boxers and quickly shed them, tossing them to the floor.

Magnus watched Alec's eyes for signs of discomfort or reluctance, but he found none this time. Alec's hands were everywhere at once, pushing and pulling at Magnus's body, encouraging him, demonstrating how much Alec wanted him. Magnus recaptured Alec's mouth, as their movements quickened, and their pleasure heightened.

Alec moaned headily as Magnus released his lips and arched his body for a better angle. Magnus's hair dangled in his eyes, framing his face, as he looked down at Alec with poorly disguised love and uncontrolled desire in his eyes. Alec buried his face in Magnus's chest, kissing and nipping at the smooth skin covering the straining muscles beneath.

Alec traced the swell of those muscles with a feather-light touch of his fingertips, then along the taut curves of Magnus's shoulders and arms. The simple touch made his body react even more to Magnus. Magnus caught Alec's hand in his, linking their fingers together, and pressing them into the covers on the bed. Magnus leaned down to kiss Alec's lips again and he groaned softly against Alec's mouth as he felt the coiling in his lower abdomen, knowing he was nearing his climax.

Alec broke away from the kiss, arching his back and fisting the sheets in his hand as he lost control. Seeing Alec come undone and feeling his body spasm beneath him was all it took for Magnus to find his release. Their bodies shuddered and throbbed, their breaths mingled in heavy panting, as they drifted down from their high, as their bodies recovered.

Magnus sighed, and kissed Alec softly for several moments before finally rolling away. To his surprise, Alec didn't curl up to him as he normally would have. Instead, Alec slid off the bed, and began hastily searching for his clothes.

Magnus propped himself up on one elbow, watching Alec with interest. Alec tugged on his boxers and pants hurriedly. He then slipped on his shirt, misaligning the buttons and not bothering to fix them.

"What are you doing, Alec? Come back to bed," Magnus said, patting the bed beside him.

Alec paused and looked at Magnus. "It's midnight, Magnus. People will be looking for a place to sleep soon. I don't know if Luke and Jocelyn will appreciate finding us naked in one of their beds."

Magnus sat up quickly. "It's midnight? Where did the time go?" Alec eyes darted from Magnus to the bed pointedly. Magnus laughed and said, "Oh."

"Yeah. Where is my damn sock?" Alec said in exasperation, as he bent over to look under the dresser in the corner. Sure enough, that's were he found the missing sock. He had no idea how it could have gotten there. He sat on the edge of the bed, pulling on his socks and shoes. Then he leaned over and kissed Magnus. "Bye, Magnus," he said, and there was a longing in the words that pained Magnus to hear.

Magnus caught his wrist and pulled him in close, kissing him again, not wanting to let him go. But, eventually, Alec drew away from him, and with one last wishful look at Magnus, left the room, closing the door behind him.

Alec emerged from the farmhouse, his blazer thrown over his shoulder haphazardly, his tie hanging loose, his shirt askew and rumpled, his hair messy and tangled, and was greeted by Isabelle and Jace.

"There you are. We've been looking everywhere for you," Isabelle said. She paused, taking in Alec's disheveled appearance. "What happened to you? Where have you been?"

Jace's golden eyes drifted to the farmhouse door as it opened, revealing Magnus in a similar state as Alec. His eyes widened and the corners of his mouth twitched as his lips threatened to break into a smile. "I see" was all he said.

Isabelle had no trouble interpreting the evidence before her either. "Oh, Alec," she started.

"It's fine, Iz," Alec said, interrupting her and pushing himself between his siblings, walking away from the house and Magnus.

Isabelle hurried to catch up with her brother's long strides. "It's not fine, Alec. I can't believe Magnus would take advantage of you like this," she said angrily.

"Just drop it, okay?" Alec said with a hint of annoyance.

"No, I won't. He knows how vulnerable you are right now," Isabelle said.

Alec stopped, causing Jace and Izzy, who were right on his heels, to narrowly miss bumping into him. "Magnus didn't do anything wrong. I did this. It was all me. I came onto him. I asked him to." He averted his eyes from the gaping mouths and astonished expressions of his siblings.

"Alec-" Jace began, but stopped at the look on Alec's face.

Alec caught Magnus disappear from sight out of the corner of his eye, and his heart clenched. "I'm going home. See you guys tomorrow," he said, and headed toward his rental car.


	5. Chapter 5

This was Alec's favorite Downworlder bar in the city. It was darker, quieter, and more intimate than Pandemonium, which was always thumping with a loud bass and churning bodies on the dance floor. It was open to all Downworlders, unlike the Hunter's Moon, which was primarily a dive bar for werewolves. This bar admitted anyone who wanted to relax, drink, and have a good time, no matter the species.

Tonight, the bar was already teeming with people. There was a stage on the far wall which was lit up, usually indicating there would be a live band that night. Alec groaned; live bands were more difficult to tune out than a DJ or a juke box.

He took a seat on an elevated bar stool. The bar top was an old stained wood with numerous gouges, likely from werewolves or some other drunken Downworlder. The edge of the bar was wrapped in dry-rotted black leather with so many cracks that it was less likely to be comfortable than to pinch an unsuspecting arm. Alec leaned gingerly against the leather arm rest; he had been pinched on more than one occasion already.

The employees of the bar consisted of a Fairy barmaid, a werewolf bartender and an Ifrit bouncer, and Alec got on fine with all of them.

As if on cue, a tall seafoam-skinned Fairy with slightly darker green eyes appeared in front of Alec. "What can I get for you, honey?" she said, pleasantly.

"Tequila shot," Alec said.

"Do you want the salt and lime?" she asked.

"Of course," he said with a smile that he really didn't feel. She nodded and headed toward the other end of the bar to get his drink.

Alec swiveled on his stool to take in the scene around him. In the far corner of the bar stood three billiards tables. He and Magnus had played a few times. He found out quickly that playing pool with Magnus was a loosing endeavor. He was never able to catch him cheating, so he was never sure if Magnus was using magic or was just that good. Given that the warlock was centuries old and had had plenty of time to practice if he chose to, it really could have been either scenario.

Alec could picture Magnus leaning over the side of the table, pool stick in hand, lining up his shot. His hair dangled around his face, his tight pants pulled tighter as he stretched out, a sliver of tanned skin exposed as his shirt rode up higher. He was so beautiful and graceful when he played. It was almost poetic.

The barmaid returned with his drink and Alec tore his eyes away from the tables and his memories. Those memories wouldn't help him tonight.

He licked his hand, poured some salt on it and licked it again. He tossed the tequila back and down in one gulp, then grabbed the lime and sucked the juice into his mouth. He wasn't sure why he liked tequila shots so much, but they really were one of his favorites.

Maybe it had something to do with the first time he had done a tequila shot. Magnus had shown him how to do it one night when they were still sneaking around and hiding their relationship. Magnus had wanted to loosen Alec's inhibitions and thought this was a good way to do it. Before long, they were licking the salt off each other, mostly each other's necks, and passing the lime between them in a heated kiss. It had gotten heated enough that Magnus had left a mark on Alec's neck, one which Jace had not failed to notice and teased him about later.

Alec heard the shrieking feedback from the microphone on stage and winced, drawn reluctantly from his memories. A moment later, a voice said, "First up is Danny!"

Alec groaned. Did it have to be karaoke night at the bar? Really? Karaoke was even harder to ignore than a live band. Danny jumped up onstage to ruckus applause and grabbed the mic.

"_You were the first thing that I thought of  
When I thought I'd drank you off my mind  
When I get lost in the liquor  
You're the only one I find  
And if I did the things I oughta  
You still would not be mine  
So I'll keep a tight grip on the bottle  
Gettin' loose and killin' time"_

"Fuck," Alec said under his breath. The Fairy barmaid appeared again and he tapped the bar top and said, "Hit me."

She grinned and returned a moment later with another shot. He downed it just as before. He hummed to himself for the remainder of the song, trying to drown it out. He failed.

Finally, the song ended with a round of applause. Alec was not sure why, Danny was not a very good singer. Some guy named John was introduced next.

"_I'm finding out how hot_  
_An old flame can burn_  
_You're a feeling I haven't forgot_  
_The love I can't unlearn_  
_You've become a memory_  
_I can't live without_  
_You'll always be a fire I can't put out"_

"Oh Angel, hit me!" Alec shouted to the Fairy. She glanced at him with a slightly worried look in her eye before setting another shot in front of him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, wiping the bar top with a damp cloth.

Alec looked up at her as he sat the empty glass back on the bar. She quickly scooped it up and discarded it with the other dirty glasses. "Talk about what? The fact that it's 'kill Alec with country music' karaoke night and I, unfortunately, did not get the fire-message beforehand?"

The Fairy smiled and said, "I was thinking more like you telling me _why_ these songs are killing you."

"Is this real?" Alec said, changing the subject. "I thought people only poured their hearts out to bartenders on TV."

The Fairy shrugged. "Just thought it might help to talk," she said, then darted off to take someone else's drink order.

Alec watched her go, wondering if he should talk about it, and wondering if a near stranger would be more helpful than a friend at this point. He was still trying to decide when she popped back in front of him a few minutes later.

"Fine," he said making a spur of the moment decision. "A year ago today I met the warlock I'm hopelessly in love with. And then he dumped me." Alec hung his head to hide the blush on his cheeks. He truly couldn't believe he had said those words aloud, and to someone he barely knew.

"Holy shit. You're Magnus Bane's Nephilim," the Fairy girl said.

Alec's head snapped up, his eyes wide. "What? How did you know that?"

"Please. Everyone knows that," she said, waving a dismissive hand. Then seeing the look on Alec's face, she amended, "I'm just kidding. Magnus was in here a few days ago, looking about as good as you do. I guessed he was the warlock you were referring to. There aren't that many warlocks in the city."

Alec sighed. The Fairy eyed him critically. "If you don't mind me asking, have you told Magnus how you feel?" she asked.

Alec shook his head. "It doesn't matter. We are too different, want different things."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Well, it seems to me that if you are both so miserable, there should be a way to work it out," she said, keeping her tone light. But her message was not, and it got Alec's attention. He looked up at the barmaid as she flounced away to wait on another customer.

A girl named Katie was now onstage beginning her song.

"_I can feel the magic floating in the air  
Being with you gets me that way  
I watch the sunlight dance across your face  
And I've never been this swept away_

_All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze_  
_When I'm lying wrapped up in your arms_  
_The whole world just fades away_  
_The only thing I hear is the beating of your heart_"

Alec tapped the bar again.

The barmaid's eyebrows furrowed. "Maybe you should slow down a little," she said with concern.

"I can handle it," said Alec, and the Fairy poured him another shot.

Alec turned to watch the girl singing. She was short and pretty, he supposed, if you are into that kind of thing. Her song still stung but at least she had a nice voice, since he was unable to tune her out.

His eyes roamed the crowd, intermittently focusing on individuals. He wasn't drunk, but certainly had a buzz, and wasn't sure how steady he would be if he tried to stand.

His thoughts settled on Magnus, as usual. Was the Fairy barmaid right? Should he talk to Magnus, tell him how he feels? But surely Magnus knows he loves him...how could he not? Magnus was the only man he'd ever loved, and he had given his entire heart, soul, and body to the warlock.

His gaze lighted on a familiar tall, slender figure with black spiked hair. The man was turned away from his and also watching the girl singing so Alec was unable to see his face. Could Magnus be there, or was he just seeing things? Could it be a combination of his thoughts and his level of sobriety, or was this real?

He was suddenly seized by the urge to talk to Magnus. He hadn't seen Magnus since Luke and Jocelyn's wedding, nearly three months previously. He pushed himself off the barstool and crossed the room, and was surprised at how steady his balance was. A part of his subconscious registered that something was wrong as he moved closer to the man. His body wasn't quite shaped right, his skin color was slightly wrong, but Alec disregarded these subtleties. He wanted to see Magnus, and that was all he could think about.

He tapped the man on the shoulder, but even before his finger touched him, he conscious mind caught up to what his subconscious already knew. This man wasn't Magnus. He didn't smell like Magnus. His jaw line wasn't like Magnus's. When the man turned to face him, Alec backed away, apologizing.

He threw some money on the bar to pay his tab and fled the bar as quickly as possible. He hit the streets of New York City, letting his feet take him wherever they wanted to go. He had no destination in mind, just knew that he wanted to walk, to sober, to think clearly again, to get away from that bar.

If he had thought it was bad seeing Magnus, it was nothing compared to wanting to see him, thinking he was there, and then discovering he was wrong.

_What the hell, Lightwood. You broke up nine months ago. Get over him!_ Alec chastised himself.

And he walked.

* * *

Magnus leaned against his countertop, head hanging down, wondering what the hell he was doing. It had been a difficult day, and a painful one. And had all the makings of one he would regret.

He poured himself a glass of scotch and sipped it thoughtfully. A pair of blue eyes swam into focus in his mind. He couldn't believe it had been a year since that fateful day, the day he had met Alec. He wasn't quite sure at what point he had fallen in love with the Nephilim, but it hadn't taken long. Those blue eyes had captured his heart, taken hold, and not relented.

A knock on his door broke him from his reverie. He downed the scotch and padded across to the door.

"Alec?" he said, slightly shocked by the sight of his ex-boyfriend, especially after he had just been thinking about him. "What are you doing here?"

"I want to talk," Alec said, without preamble.

Magnus glanced over his shoulder. He was blocking entry into his apartment with his body as he said, "Now? It's nearly midnight?"

"I know. I'm sorry about that. Can I come in?" Alec said. He looked so adorable that Magnus almost let him. Almost.

Instead, he said, as he chewed on his lower lip, "I don't think that's a good idea."

Alec looked taken aback, but quickly recovered his expression. "Fine. I'll just say what I came to say then." He paused, drew in a deep breath as if trying to steady his nerves, and said, "I love you, Magnus. I should have been saying it all along. I don't know why I haven't. Maybe I was afraid to, afraid of rejection, or maybe I was just hurt. I don't know. But it's true. I love you and I'm tired of pretending that I don't. I'm not getting over you, not even close. I've given up trying to. I love you, and I want to be with you. I know we can work it out, if we are both willing to try…"

Magnus was staring at him, his expression unreadable. He glanced over his shoulder again, and then quickly back at Alec, but he didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know if this was just the emotions of the day talking, and he couldn't believe that Alec was standing in front of him, wearing his heart on his sleeve, and telling him that he still loved him. It was all so overwhelming.

And Magnus still had doubts. Doubts that either one of them could handle the issues of their different mortalities. Doubts that he could open up about his past, when he had never done that before, and had tried so hard not to ever have to do that.

But he loved Alec, and Alec had just said that he loves him, too. Was love enough? Was it worth trying again, seeing if they could repair what they had broken? Would it be enough to fix their problems?

Alec was fidgeting in the hallway. "Say something, Magnus," he said, his low voice almost a plea.

Magnus held his eyes for a moment before looking away. "This is a really bad time, Alec."

As if on cue, a high, feminine voice rang through the silence between them. "Magnus, come back to bed. I miss you."

Alec's whole body stilled, except for his eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes Magnus loved so much grew wider and wider as realization dawned on him. Alec took a few steps back, away from Magnus. Before Magnus had time to react, Alec turned on his heel and darted toward the stairs, taking them two at a time as he tried to put as much distance as possible between himself and the warlock behind him, the whole while in disbelief that he had poured his heart out to Magnus while Magnus had a woman in his bed. He felt like such a fool. His heart tore open again, and this time, he wasn't sure if it would ever mend.

"Alec!" Magnus cried, but it was too late. Alec was already out of sight, and Magnus, dressed in only a pair of boxers, was in no position to go chasing after him.

Anger flared in Magnus, like nothing he had ever felt before. He had just blown what would likely be his last chance with Alec, with the man he loved more than anyone he had ever known. And for what? Not for anything that mattered.

He whirled around and stomped toward his bedroom. He glared at the gorgeous blonde woman lying naked in his bed, his canary yellow sheets pulled up around her, gracefully covering the delicate parts of her body. He scooped the woman's clothes off the floor and threw them at her.

"Get dressed and get out!" he said angrily. He knew what happened wasn't her fault. She didn't even know Alec or anything about him. But he couldn't help the cold hatred building within him. He had thrown away any hope with Alec over a woman whose name he couldn't even remember.

"What the hell, Magnus?" she said indignantly.

"I said get out!"

She glared at him. "You can't just take me to bed and then throw me out! I'm not a whore, you know!"

"I know. If you were a whore, I'd have to pay you, and I don't pay for sex," he said with bitter acid on his tongue. He was having difficult restraining his emotions. All he could see was the pained look on Alec's face before he took off. All he could hear was Alec saying _'I love you'_.

The next thing he heard was the sound of his front door slamming so hard it knocked the pictures hanging on his wall askew. Magnus submerged himself into his bed covers, his face already wet.

* * *

**A/N: You may have noticed I like torturing Alec with music lyrics. These songs are 1. "Killin'" Time by Clint Black, 2. "Fire I Can't Put Out" by George Strait, and 3. "Breathe" by Faith Hill. I promise, no more song lyrics...maybe :)**


	6. Chapter 6

The hot summer air had faded to warm, early autumn. Magnus had not seen Alec since that fateful day at his apartment, but it was not for lack of trying on his part. He had called Alec, texted Alec, and even stalked the Institute for Alec. Alec had not responded to him, and the stalking had been fruitless; Alec no longer lived there. He knew it wouldn't come to much, but hoped that maybe Isabelle or Jace would talk to him, maybe tell him where Alec lived, but they had simply gotten angry and chased him off the premises.

He couldn't believe he had never asked Alec where he had moved to when he left the Institute. He had thought about trying a tracking spell, but he no longer had anything of Alec's at the apartment. He had been stupid, and fucked everything up, and he couldn't even apologize.

But his current plan was fool-proof…he hoped. Today was Alec's birthday. Surely he would celebrate by having dinner with his family. And their favorite place to eat was Taki's.

He had been stalking Taki's for a few weeks as well, to no avail. He had been sitting outside the diner for about an hour today, when luck finally found him.

He spotted a group of Shadowhunters walking toward the diner, and stepped into the shadows of the alley beside the building. As the group drew near, he realized the one person that was missing. Alec. How could that be? Surely they would have invited him out on his birthday? There was no way Alec's siblings would get together on Alec's birthday without Alec.

He stepped out of the shadows and was immediately spotted by Jace. Jace whispered something to Clary, who gave him a worried look. He nodded to her and she grabbed Simon's arm and led him into the diner.

Jace and Izzy stayed on the sidewalk, facing Magnus with unreadable expressions on their faces.

"Where is he?" Magnus said, without greeting or friendliness.

"If he wanted to talk to you, he would," said Jace, with just as much iciness.

"Leave him alone, Magnus. It's over," said Izzy, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"I just need to talk to him," Magnus said.

"No, you don't. You need to leave him alone and let him get over this," said Izzy.

"But-"

"Go home, Magnus," said Jace.

Magnus shook his head. They didn't understand. He couldn't let Alec hate him. He had to talk to him, and the more time that passed, the worse this feeling became.

"There is no way we are letting you near him," said Jace, as if reading Magnus's thoughts. Jace and Izzy closed ranks, standing with their shoulders touching, their postures stiff and unrelenting.

Something registered in Magnus's mind. Why would they stand like that, between him and the door to Taki's, blocking his path? Unless…

"Is he in there? Alec!" Magnus shouted.

Jace and Izzy glared at him. Magnus attempted to break through them, and they shoved him back. In an instant, Jace had a seraph blade in his hand, lit and ready for action. Izzy held the handle of her whip. Seeing this ignited anger in Magnus.

"Are you threatening me? Careful, Shadowhunters," Magnus growled. His arms, which had been hanging loosely at his sides, stiffened, his fingertips flaring with blue flames.

"What the hell is going on here?" Alec yelled from the doorway of the diner. His eyes darted between his siblings and Magnus, taking in the scene, and their threatening postures. Simon and Clary arrived a moment later, looking apologetic for not being able to keep Alec inside the diner.

Jace and Izzy pirouetted to face Alec, sheepish expressions on their faces. Magnus, however, didn't have the time to look or feel embarrassed. Alec was standing there, and this may be his only chance to talk to him. He pushed through Jace and Izzy easily, now that they were distracted.

Alec's eyes widened. "What are you doing here, Magnus?"

"I need to talk to you, Alec," he said, a plea in his tone.

Alec stared at him for a moment, trying to decide if he would speak to Magnus, then finally nodded.

"You don't have to do this, Alec," said Izzy, angry with herself for not protecting her brother better.

"It's fine, Iz. I'll be back in a few minutes. Go inside and order something, okay." His eyes were beseeching, willing her to understand. He couldn't avoid Magnus forever, and maybe it was best for them to hash it out now. Maybe then he could finally move on.

The others cast reluctant glances at Alec as they entered the diner, leaving Alec and Magnus alone on the sidewalk. Alec walked past Magnus into the alley, then waited for Magnus to join him. He didn't know what he wanted to say to Magnus, didn't know how he wanted this conversation to go.

He heard Magnus take in a breath behind him and whirled around. "If you are here to apologize, don't bother. You don't owe me one. We are not together, and you can sleep with whoever you like." The words tumbled from Alec, almost of their own volition.

Magnus's eyes widened. "But I am sorry. So very sorry," Magnus said.

Alec's eyes narrowed. "How's your girlfriend?" he said, icily.

Magnus averted his eyes. "She's not my girlfriend. I kicked her out right after you left. I-I don't even remember her name."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Alec said in a dry monotone.

Magnus shook his head. "I was lonely, Alec. I had not talked to you in three months. I wasn't sure I would ever get to talk to you again. I fucked up, and I'll never forgive myself for it."

Alec wasn't sure why it happened, but his heart softened, his iciness defrosted. Perhaps, it was the slight blush on Magnus's cheeks, something he had never seen Magnus do before, and didn't know Magnus was capable of. Perhaps it was the fact that he understood about being lonely, especially that night. He remembered wanting comfort and companionship that night as well. Or perhaps, it was just because it was Magnus, and in spite of everything that had happened, he still loved him.

"As I said before, you don't owe me an apology. Hell, who knows what I would have done if I hadn't said your name all those months ago."

Magnus's eyes met his and he knew Magnus understood. "Are you saying you forgive me?"

"No. I'm saying there is nothing to forgive. So stop beating yourself up, okay?"

Magnus sighed. "Alec, I lov-"

"Don't," Alec interrupted. "Don't say you love me, Magnus. Just don't."

"But-"

"Who were your parents, Magnus?" he interrupted again. "Where were you born? _When_ were you born?"

Alec held his eyes, willing him to open up, to be honest with him. But Magnus looked away. He couldn't do it, he didn't know how. He had spent too much time avoid those topics, avoiding his past, and to some extent, running from it.

Magnus sank onto the concrete sidewalk and buried his head in his hands. Alec sat beside him, quietly watching Magnus, hoping to see something break inside the warlock and let out all the things he's been keeping secret. But the wall was just as impenetrable as it had always been.

"I want to be with you, Magnus. I can get past the fact that you are immortal and will have a life after I die. I wanted to change that at first, but now I realize that it doesn't matter. You may be immortal, but that doesn't mean you can't die. You could die tomorrow and leave me here alone, or I could die in fifty years and leave you. My point is we only get the time we get."

Magnus looked sideways at him. He nodded. Alec took his hand and held it in his own. "I know you are afraid of what will happen when I die, but there isn't anything either of us can do about that," Alec continued.

Magnus nodded again. He didn't trust his ability to speak, didn't trust his ability to _not_ mess this up. But Alec seemed to be waiting for him to say something. "I know it would be hard to lose you," he said. "I _is_ hard to lose you. I hate being without you."

Alec offered a small smile. "I hate it, too. But Magnus, I can't be with someone who won't let me in, who won't tell me the truth. I need to know you, to know that I know you better than anyone else. Otherwise, I can't be with you, no matter how much I love you."

Magnus's heart sank. It seemed like every time they got a little bit closer, they took another step back.

Alec saw the truth on his face. He stood and turned away from Magnus.

"Alec," Magnus said, and the word held so much emotion that Alec paused.

He hesitated for the briefest of moments, then turned back, and closed the distance between himself and Magnus. Blue eyes held green-gold, an understanding passing between them, and Alec brought his arms up around Magnus's neck, gently pressing them together until their lips met. The kiss was emotional and wonderful and heartbreaking, all at once. Alec gave everything he had to the kiss, hoping that Magnus would understand, and would eventually comply with his request.

They couldn't be together if Magnus continue to hold back. But it was clear from that kiss, and from everything else that had happened between them, that they both _wanted_ to be together, maybe even _needed_ to be together.

Magnus's arms were around him, pressing his body even closer. There was no space between them, only a few layers of thin fabric. They could feel each other's heartbeats, feel the rise and fall of their chests, their breaths coming in quick gasps as they continued to kiss for all it was worth, right there in the alleyway. Neither remembered, nor cared, that they were in a very public place, very much on display for anyone walking by. Neither registered the distance sounds of car horns and people talking and music playing from passing cars.

For that moment, the world fell away, and it was just them, just Alec and Magnus, holding each other, loving each other. But reality is never far away. It eventually rears its head, demands to be noticed.

Alec broke the kiss. He looked for one long moment into Magnus's eyes, then turned and walked away. He didn't look back. Magnus didn't stop him.

But Magnus did take something away from their interaction. A piece of Alec's hair had come out in his hand as they kissed and he wound it around it fingertips. He now had what he needed to find out where Alec lived...

* * *

**A/N: I tried to incorporate "What Now" into this, but it didn't seem to fit where the story was going...don't hate me ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

Alec opened the door to his apartment to find Magnus leaning against the door frame, one arm above his head, his head dangling, not quite meeting Alec's eyes. He tossed his free hand into the air as if he were tossing a baseball. Blue flamed letters appeared, hanging in mid-air, that read 'Can We Talk?"

Alec took a step back, swinging the door wide to admit Magnus. Magnus stepped over the threshold and took in his surroundings. The apartment was tiny and dated and dingy, though Alec kept it clean. The ancient Formica countertop was flaking and trimmed in peeling metal, the discolored linoleum was chipped in several places. A small round table with two wooden chairs took up the middle of the kitchen floor.

The kitchen opened into a living area which was furnished with a black metal futon, a small flat screen TV, and a loaded bookshelf taking up the majority of the far corner. There were two doors leading off the living room. Magnus presumed one led to Alec's bedroom and the other to a bathroom.

Alec motioned for Magnus to sit on the futon. "I thought I might see you today," he said, by way of greeting.

Images circulated through his mind: a dark subway tunnel, brilliant colors from his witchlight stone, Magnus walking away from him.

_Aku cinta kamu_.

Had it really been a year? It was almost too hard to believe.

"We do seem to find each other on special occasions," Magnus acknowledged.

Magnus perched on Alec's couch, his head in his hands, looking in a way the Alec had rarely, if ever, seen before. Something was different about Magnus today, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was.

"How have you been?" Alec said, inwardly rolling his eyes. _Small talk? Really, Lightwood?_

Magnus forced out a laugh. "I miss you."

And Alec finally figured out what was different about Magnus. He looked fragile, nearly broken. Magnus Bane _never_ looked fragile. Alec had seen a range of emotions from Magnus during their time together: happiness, anger, bitterness, sulking, love. But he had never seen him look so vulnerable.

"I miss you, too," he said slowly.

"I really hate being without you," Magnus said into his hands, still not looking at Alec.

The corner of Alec's mouth twitched briefly. He felt the same way, but he was afraid that if he said that he may never know what Magnus came here to say. Instead, he said, "I'm sure you've been alone before, in your eight hundred year life."

"Four hundred," Magnus corrected.

"What?"

"I'm almost four hundred years old. My birthday is December 10th, 1621, to be exact," Magnus said softly.

And there it was, after all this time. A rent in the façade, a chink in the armor, a crack in the wall that Magnus had spent his whole life so carefully constructing. Alec could see it, as plainly as he could see Magnus sitting in front of him. He knew he must proceed with caution.

"Okay," Alec began, hesitantly. "What did you want to talk about, Magnus?"

"I-I've done a lot of thinking lately. I know this is my fault, I'm what is keeping us apart. I just don't know how to fix it."

"You are off to a good start."

Magnus looked up at that, sideways from the corner of his eye, but he still looked. "I thought losing you to death would be the hardest thing I would ever do, but I was wrong. Knowing you are alive, and wanting me, but not being with you…I can't take it anymore."

And a piece of the wall, a small pebble, broke away. Alec placed an encouraging hand on Magnus's arm, and Magnus jumped slightly at the touch. It was clear the effect Magnus's words were having on him. Alec waited, quietly, for him to continue.

"Help me," Magnus said.

"Why don't we start with something easy? Why don't you tell me about your parents?" Alec suggested.

Another forced laugh from Magnus. "You think talking about my parents is easy? My mother killed herself because of me. My father tried to drown me and died in the process, because of me. My parents probably would have lived to be old, had a real family with grandchildren and everything, if not for me." Magnus's voice broke on the last word.

Alec's heart ached for Magnus. He never thought Magnus would still be hurting about something that happened so long ago. He never knew that Magnus held so much guilt and loathing over what happened to his parents.

Alec saw another, larger section of Magnus's wall crumble away. There was a breach now, something Alec could work with. Magnus was opening up to him, finally, and Alec felt there was a chance, a real chance for them now.

Cautiously, he said, "Magnus, you can't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault you were _born_. It wasn't your fault that your parents were afraid of you. If anyone is to blame, it's your demon father, not you."

Magnus threw his head back and ran his hands over his face. He heaved a great sigh. He knew what Alec wanted to know. He had always known it. He knew this would never work if he didn't tell him.

"Asmodeus," he blurted between his fingers. He couldn't look at Alec, didn't want to see the look on his face now that he knew the truth.

Alec drew in a sharp breath. He couldn't believe Magnus had actually said the name. He knew at once the significance of the name. He knew Magnus had just told him who his father is.

And he could see what it cost Magnus to do it. More of the wall crumbled. Alec could see through it, see into Magnus's soul, could see how much pain he was in.

"What else do you want to know?" Magnus asked.

_Everything!_ Alec thought, but he knew Magnus couldn't take much more at the moment. And it didn't matter right now. Magnus had proven that he would open up to Alec, proven that Alec meant more to him that his secrets. It was enough for now. They would have plenty of time to learn everything else later.

"That's enough for now. Thank you, Magnus," Alec said.

He scooted across the small futon couch to sit as close to Magnus as he could. Magnus lowered his head and looked into Alec's eyes. He angled his body so that he was facing Alec.

"I love you," Magnus said in a strained whisper.

"I love you, too," Alec said, and leaned in to kiss him, softly on the lips.

Magnus sighed when Alec pulled away. "We can take it slow, if you want to."

Alec laughed at that. "Magnus, we've seen each other maybe seven or eight times since we broke up, and slept together twice. I don't think we are capable of taking it slow." He held Magnus's face in his hands, steadying his eyes, forcing Magnus to look at him. "And I don't want to. We've wasted so much time already."

Magnus's arms snaked around Alec's waist. "Thank God," he said. "I need you."

He pulled Alec onto his lap, wound a hand behind Alec's neck and kissed him. Alec could feel the emotion behind the kiss, the need Magnus felt for him, the release of some of the pain Magnus felt from opening his old wounds. There was an urgency to the kiss, something that went far beyond simple desire, something that reached into their very core and bound them to each other. He felt a kind of healing as their lips collided, over and over, as their tongues brushed and grazed each other, as their teeth nipped and bit at the other playfully, seductively.

Alec felt the heat radiating off Magnus's body, the trail of fire left in the wake of Magnus's hands traveling under his shirt and up his spine. He lifted is arms as Magnus dragged his shirt over his head and discarded it on the floor. Their kiss was broken only for a moment before they were back together, kissing with increasing passion.

Alec slid off Magnus's lap, catching his hands and pulling him along. Alec backed toward his bedroom door, nudging it open with his rear as his hands and lips refused to break contact with Magnus. But Magnus did break the kiss. He looked around Alec's modest room, taking in the mattress and blankets on the floor in one corner, the small wooden desk against a wall, and the table lamp that rested next to the bed on the floor. That was all of Alec's décor, all of his belongings.

"It's not much," Alec said, sheepishly, remembering how Magnus was constantly decorating his own loft. Alec's tiny apartment could easily fit into one or two rooms of Magnus's loft.

"Give me a second," Magnus said, winking at Alec.

He turned back to the room, waved a hand in an arc, and then placed that hand on his chin, admiring his work. The room was still quaint, the bed was still just a mattress on the floor, but now it was furnished with dark red silk sheets and comforter. The window hangings matched the sheets and darkened the room. There were numerous candles adding a soft, romantic glow to the room. And next to the bed was a bottle of wine.

Alec grinned. "I've missed your magic," he said, and he wrapped his arms around Magnus's waist.

Magnus relieved himself of his shirt, then drew Alec close, pressing their bodies together. The heat Alec felt before was nothing compared to the intensity of their bare chests against the other. Alec's simple shorts and boxers were easily cast aside, though Magnus's tight jeans took a little more effort. Alec fumbled with the clasp on Magnus's pants, and found his need to rid the warlock of this last remaining barrier grew stronger the longer it took to accomplish his goal. He growled in frustration, causing a smirk from Magnus, as he took over the task.

Alec gracelessly plopped onto the mattress, watching Magnus finish undressing. The sight of Magnus's beautiful, naked body standing in front of him was almost too much to bear, especially now that it was his again, and not some frustrating fling. His eyes traveled upward, as Magnus's thin legs were revealed, pausing longingly at his obvious arousal, up his tapered waist and slightly wider shoulders, along the smooth, perfect skin of his torso, and finally to the face that has consumed every moment of his life for more than a year.

Magnus's face split into a smile. He sank onto the mattress next to Alec, laying on their sides, blue eyes locking in green-gold ones. Magnus traced Alec's cheek lightly with one finger, down the sharp curve of his jaw, along the hollow of his neck, pausing to feel the thready, rapid pulse. His fingers followed the slope of Alec's shoulder, down the rune-covered arm, outlining a few of his favorite runes along the way.

His arm slipped around Alec's waist, flattening their bodies together until there was no space between them. Alec's body thrilled with the sensation of Magnus's pressed against him. His hammering heart sped up even more as he wound his hand at the base of Magnus's neck and brought their lips together again. His hands were everywhere, seemingly at once, as he touched every bit of Magnus he could find. His hands brushed Magnus's chest, his shoulders, around to his back, where his arms tensed, holding him tightly against his form.

Magnus rolled onto his back, pulling Alec on top of him. Alec's eyes widened a little in surprise, but certainly not in protest. This was not the first time he had been on top, though it was not a common position for them. They generally went with what felt right in the moment, and in this moment, this felt right. This seemed to be what Magnus wanted and needed. And Alec kissed him, firmly, deeply, wantonly.

Their bodies seemed to meld together perfectly, as they always had, and Alec nearly lost control as the warmth of Magnus surrounded him. He broke the kiss, burying his face in Magnus's neck, panting hard as he tried to regain control of his emotions. Magnus's moans and encouraging motions of his hands were not helping him do so.

When Alec finally mastered himself, he started moving, slowly and gently at first, savoring the sensations that being with Magnus elicited in him. Their movements coordinated, and when combined with their sighs and moans, brought about a beautiful, harmonious melody of pleasure.

Alec's mouth reclaimed Magnus's, their lips moving together, provoking more desire from the other. Their mouths parted, allowing a rhythmic dance on their tongues, stimulating their senses further as their bodies continued to move together.

Magnus's hands were skillfully finding the secret, sensitive places on Alec's body. With each touch, Alec's control seemed to falter a bit more. His rhythm became erratic as he lost himself in Magnus, in the feel of Magnus's hands on his body, the heady scent of sandalwood and burnt-sugar that accompanied Magnus's magic, the sweet taste of Magnus's mouth and salty taste of Magnus's skin.

He felt the coiled energy within him grow. Magnus arched his body, matching Alec's uneven thrusts, softly moaning Alec's name as he reached his climax. As Magnus's body convulsed and throbbed around Alec, Alec finally lost control, burying himself in Magnus as his body spasmed, holding Magnus tight as he rode out his orgasm fully. He buried his face in the crook of Magnus's neck, shuddering and moaning.

They stayed like that until the last possible moment, when Alec had softened too much to remain inside. Magnus traced the runes on Alec's back as he held his Shadowhunter, lovingly caressing the body that he had missed so much. Alec finally withdrew his head from Magnus's neck, bringing their lips back together and kissing Magnus with slow, languorous, satisfied kisses.

When Alec finally left the warmth and comfort of Magnus's embrace, he sank into the mattress next to him and said, "I'm starving."

Magnus laughed. There was the bluntness of his Alec, the ability to always say what's on his mind, even in a post-coital haze. He had an upsurge of affection for the Shadowhunter at that moment. Then he did what Magnus did best, snapping his fingers and causing steaming plates of ravioli to appear.

Alec quirked an eyebrow. "Ravioli? I don't recall saying I want ravioli."

"Tough. I do," Magnus said, kissing him on the tip of his nose, before sitting up to address their dinner. Alec reached for his boxers, feeling uncomfortable with the idea of eating completely naked. "Oh no you don't," Magnus said, stilling Alec's hand. "I'm not done with you yet." He winked at Alec, and Alec felt the tell-tale blush creep up his cheeks.

"Fine," he said, redirecting his hand and grabbing his plate of ravioli instead. They ate in a comfortable silence, well, mostly comfortable. Magnus kept looking at Alec like he was a piece of meat he wanted to devour, which led to a continuous flush of Alec's cheeks, but he didn't really mind. It felt good to be with Magnus again, to be talking and eating and making love like they used to do.

They finished the lion's share of the wine with dinner before discarding their plates and falling back into bed. Magnus pulled Alec to him, Alec's back pressed against Magnus's chest. Alec could feel the desire emanating from Magnus's body in the warmth of his embrace and the rapid beat of his heart.

Magnus twined the fingers of the hand beneath Alec with Alec's fingers, tracing runes and patterns on Alec's skin with his other. He kissed along Alec's jaw to the hollow beneath his ear. Alec's eyes slid shut as a wave of passion swept over him with the sensation that little move elicited. Magnus smiled against Alec's skin as he trailed blazing open-mouthed kisses along Alec's neck and shoulder, pulling back slightly to administer kisses to Alec's shoulder blades and the back of his neck. He blew softly on the little hairs on the back of Alec's neck, making them stand erect, and sending a shiver down Alec's spine.

Magnus pressed his arousal, firmly, against Alec, making his intentions known, and Alec nodded, a breathy plea escaping him. Magnus laid his splayed palm against Alec's chest, palpating his heartbeat and the heat and tension in Alec's chest as he fitted himself inside of Alec. This position was uncharted territory of them, and Alec immediately regretted that. The sensation was incredible. Everything about this position was incredible. The feel of Magnus's mouth on his neck and back, Magnus's warmth against his spine, his fingers against his chest. This was heaven.

Alec was not normally talkative during sex, but he couldn't suppress the cry of _'Oh, Angel'_ that fell from his lips. And it only got better. Every move Magnus made stimulated his most sensitive areas. And Magnus seemed determined to make this the best sex they had ever had. Magnus licked, bit, and sucked along Alec's neck, heightening his senses, his body reacting to every touch. Magnus's hands smoothed down his chest, gently grazing his nipples and sending fiery shocks through Alec's body, then continuing over his well-defined abdominal muscles and stopping at his pelvis. There he pressed firmly against the hollow of Alec's pelvis, a tingling sensation emanating throughout his body.

Alec pressed against Magnus, wanting more. His whole body was in a state of uncontrolled desire and need. Magnus's hand gently grazed along Alec's pelvis and Alec thought he may explode if Magnus didn't touch him. Alec twisted his body slightly and captured Magnus's lips with his own. He licked Magnus's lip, and was rewarded with a soft moan from the warlock.

Magnus's fingers then curved around Alec's straining erection, finally giving him the sensation of friction that he was so desperately craving. Magnus's hand moved in time with his body, every thrust causing a blinding ecstasy throughout Alec's body. Magnus continued abusing Alec's neck with his lips, teeth and tongue, relishing watching Alec unravel.

Alec completely lost control. His body arching away from Magnus's then pressing back against him as he craved the contact between Magnus's chest and his own spine, his pelvis thrusting into Magnus's hand. Each rocking motion Alec made, each tightening of his muscles, added to the intense pleasure Magnus felt as well. Magnus tightened his fist on Alec's chest, leaving small crescent impressions on his skin with his fingernails.

The movements of Magnus's mouth on Alec's neck became erratic, as did his movements inside of Alec's body, as their passion grew. Their movements became more frenzied, uneven, unpredictable, as they lost themselves in each other. Alec twined a hand with the one Magnus still had pressed against his chest, and squeezed as he and Magnus simultaneously toppled into the abyss of pleasure, their bodies racked with waves of gratification.

Magnus held Alec against his body in a tight embrace, panting softly and moaning in his ear. As their breathing and heartbeats slowly returned to normal, Alec felt an overwhelming need to touch Magnus, to hold him in his arms. He turned in Magnus's embrace, wrapping his arms around Magnus's waist and pulling him close. He pressed his lips to Magnus's, in a sweet, loving kiss, absent of the carnal need that controlled them moments before. Magnus ran his fingers through Alec's hair, kissing him in that same loving, well-sated way.

At last, they broke apart and Alec draped his body along Magnus's, still wanting to be as close to the warlock as possible. They had been apart too long, his body had craved Magnus's touch too much to allow any space between them now. Magnus' fingers lazily outlined the runes on the arm Alec laid across his chest as Alec gently pressed kisses to Magnus's chest.

Alec's eyes were getting heavy, but he didn't want the night to end yet. It had been too perfect. He had gotten everything he ever wanted tonight. He had Magnus, all of Magnus, a Magnus that was willing to open up and let him in, let him know the real Magnus, the one he hid from everyone else. Magnus was his.

Alec looked up into Magnus's half-lidded, shining eyes and said, "Tell me a story." He supposed it could be taken as a challenge, but that wasn't how he meant it. He really just wanted Magnus to tell him more about himself.

"A story?" Magnus said, lazily.

"Yes. Tell me about someone you loved."

Magnus laughed. "Let me get this straight. We just got back together, and spent the entire afternoon making love, and now you want me to tell you about someone_ else_ that I _used to love?_"

Alec nodded against Magnus's chest. He could feel his cheeks flush. Was his request really so strange? The way Magnus said it sure made it sound weird.

He could feel Magnus's incredulity in the brush of his hair as he shook his head, in the gentle heave of his chest as he silently chuckled.

"How about I tell you about Will and Tessa," Magnus said.

"Will Herondale?" Alec replied. "The one Camille said I looked like?"

He felt Magnus tense at Camille's name, but it quickly passed. "There is a good reason you look like him, Alec," Magnus said.

Alec turned his face to look at Magnus again. "Were you in love with Will? Were you ever _with him_?"

Magnus shook his head. "I loved Will, but not like that. He was a very remarkable boy, and he meant a lot to me. Tessa, too." Magnus looked thoughtful for a moment. "I did kiss him once, but that was just to piss Camille off."

Alec grinned. "I like this story already," he said, as he nuzzled against Magnus's chest, awaiting the rest of the story.

"Once upon a time…" Magnus began.

* * *

_"After all the stops and starts  
We keep coming back to these two hearts  
Two angels who've been rescued from the fall  
And after all that we've been through  
It all comes down to me and you  
I guess it's meant to be, forever you and me, after all"_

* * *

**A/N: 1. Hehe I lied, another song lyric. This one is "After All" by Cher and Peter Cetera.**

**2. I started this fic because I had unresolved feeling about the breakup. Seriously. These 7 chapters are what I had planned from the beginning to write. I have another 30+ chapter fanfic I've been writing about their lives together and really don't want to take on that commitment again! I'm calling this one complete as of now, but if I think of something good, I'll write it. I don't want to write more just for the sake of additional chapters...it will have to be good!**

**3. I also wrote this because my 30+ chapter fic is rated T, and I _really_ wanted to write some sex! I wanted it to be more than 'who put what where' and 'ooh that feels good' and I think I accomplished my goals...but it's certainly out of my comfort zone, so if you don't mind, let me know what you think...**

**4. Thank you all for your support. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Yay they are back together 3**


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